李浩 pearls before swine ， lyin' outside the door. Translation: dim-witted, but not as dull as a doorknob. At twenty-two, he was a walking disaster zone, his life a glittering wasteland of missed opportunities. The highlight of his existence was answering the door for pizza delivery guys, who always asked if he worked for the company. Yes, folks, my dude was a glorified door mat with a pulse.

Enter a senile old coot, aka Grandpa Chen, who crawled back into his life via a freak lightning strike.Boom! Grandpa Chen, a one-time legend in the martial arts world, zapped Lihao, turning his life from a damp cellar to a penthouse suite, minus the penthouse. He woke up muscles aching, brain buzzing with new ideas that were mostly just lifting heavy objects.

Grandpa Chen's first instruction? "Kid, shape up or ship out." Shape up involved breakfast, which was Grandpa Chen forcing down Lihao's esophagus with a stack of pancakes so thick the plate groaned. Ship out meant getting his ass to the university, where he was, for the record, a walking punching bag.